When you're a kid, everyone tells you "You can do anything! Follow your dreams!" But that's all feel-good fluff. No one ever tells you that you'll fail a hundred times before you accomplish that thing you wanted to do. No one tells you how scary it will be, how you'll have to pour everything you are into your dreams, and then still dig a little deeper because everything you think you are won't be enough.
The past six months of our journey have been riddled with problems:
Should we pivot to a different business model? How will we print these cards? How will we cover our costs and make a profit, but still get people to buy? The app is broken again. How will we integrate payment systems that comply with the thousands of rules and laws out there? The app is broken again. How can we possibly follow the new confusing tax laws that were just passed? Is this idea even going to work? Will people even want this after it's all built and out in the world? The app is broken again. What else do we need to do to build our company? What other products should we start building? Should we go after fundraising right now or wait until the first product is released? Should we give equity to people that want to join our team, even if they won't have a defined role yet? Should we patent more things? Should we trademark? The app is broken again. Are we ready for beta testing? Are we ready to release? Why are people confused by the process? How can we change the app UI? How can we make things work better? Look at all of our competition! Are we ready???? The App Store rejects our first submission. Stripe doesn't understand the way our payment system is integrated and could shut us down.
And this is where we are today.
I actually cried this morning, quietly to myself. Today, this isn't fun and exciting. Today it all just sucks.
But Ben took a deep breath and said, "I won't take 'No' for an answer." And he won't, because he knows how to keep going. He knows how to squash down all of the doubts and insecurities because at the end of the day we've come too far to give up. The world seems to be screaming at us to give up. It will keep screaming at us to give up.
Our favorite movies right now are "Walt Before Mickey", "Joy", "The Greatest Showman", and "Meet the Robinsons". The world screamed at these real and fictional characters to give up. But they didn't. They easily could have, and no one would have blamed them.
I think nobody would blame us for giving up either. I think it's almost expected of us. The world isn't actually built to help people realize their potential. It's built to keep the rich rich and the poor poor. It's built to keep everyone in line, to keep everyone selling themselves short.
So I guess that's why we can't give up. That's why we have to keep moving forward, even on days like today when everything sucks.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
The White Picket Fence Lie
Get good grades + Go to a good college + Get a good job + Marry your soulmate + Buy a perfect house in a perfect neighborhood + Have a couple of perfect children = Ultimate Happiness
Or does it?
That's what we did with our lives (although not in that exact order). We did what was drilled into our heads by teachers, family members, friends, and society. We'd never stopped to ask ourselves though if it was what we really wanted. We didn't know if it was OUR ultimate happiness. In fact, I think deep down we knew it wasn't.
So it was time to go all in on this company idea. It was time to take an enormous risk and leap of faith.
We made the decision to sell our home and began pouring every spare minute into cleaning up our house and yard. A couple of days before we listed our home, Ben and I stood in our enormous, newly fenced backyard. The kids were in bed, finally, and everything was quiet.
"We didn't even get to enjoy the fence." I tried to smile but my shaky voice gave me away. "This feels so crazy." I wiped a tear from my cheek.
My husband put his arm around me and said, "I promise you that the next house we buy will be even more amazing than you can imagine. We're going to be so rich, and we're going to fix all the shitty things happening in the world right now."
We listed our house and for four days, we couldn't breathe. I did nothing but snap at the kids for every tiny mess they made. I fed them fast food too many times. I took them to the park when it was too cold, and to the store when we didn't need to buy anything.
It was only four days, guys. If it had been one day longer I would have lost it and ended up in a padded white cell. An offer for our asking price came in and we accepted.
Two weeks later, Ben quit his six-figure salary job. Two weeks after that we moved out of our beautiful house and into a rental.
The day we turned over the keys to our newly sold home, I wrote this:
"Our house is so empty now that our voices echo as we say goodbye. It's surreal to see it this way, to be leaving. So much life was lived here.
There were tears, yelling, and bitter struggles. There was laughter, understanding, and so much love. Some of my most cherished memories happened right here within these walls. This is where our youngest came home, took his first steps and said his first words. This is where our oldest's bright personality exploded and he made his first real friends. This is where I wrote my first books. This is where all of Ben's plans and ideas finally turned into something real.
It's so hard to say goodbye. But in the end, it's just a house. It's just a tiny dot on a huge map, and all the things that really matter are coming with us wherever we go.
Now it's time to move on to new exciting adventures and live more of life's big moments."
We rented a cute little office space in a building that was built in the 1800's. We ordered Ben a "World's Best Boss" mug from our favorite TV show. And then Ben put his head down and went to work creating our vision.
The true beginning of our entrepreneurship adventure was so bitter-sweet. It was rush of adrenaline, excitement, sadness, and fear all rolled together. We couldn't wait to break free from the mold and build a product that would make people smile.
Or does it?
That's what we did with our lives (although not in that exact order). We did what was drilled into our heads by teachers, family members, friends, and society. We'd never stopped to ask ourselves though if it was what we really wanted. We didn't know if it was OUR ultimate happiness. In fact, I think deep down we knew it wasn't.
So it was time to go all in on this company idea. It was time to take an enormous risk and leap of faith.
We made the decision to sell our home and began pouring every spare minute into cleaning up our house and yard. A couple of days before we listed our home, Ben and I stood in our enormous, newly fenced backyard. The kids were in bed, finally, and everything was quiet.
"We didn't even get to enjoy the fence." I tried to smile but my shaky voice gave me away. "This feels so crazy." I wiped a tear from my cheek.
My husband put his arm around me and said, "I promise you that the next house we buy will be even more amazing than you can imagine. We're going to be so rich, and we're going to fix all the shitty things happening in the world right now."
We listed our house and for four days, we couldn't breathe. I did nothing but snap at the kids for every tiny mess they made. I fed them fast food too many times. I took them to the park when it was too cold, and to the store when we didn't need to buy anything.
It was only four days, guys. If it had been one day longer I would have lost it and ended up in a padded white cell. An offer for our asking price came in and we accepted.
Two weeks later, Ben quit his six-figure salary job. Two weeks after that we moved out of our beautiful house and into a rental.
The day we turned over the keys to our newly sold home, I wrote this:
"Our house is so empty now that our voices echo as we say goodbye. It's surreal to see it this way, to be leaving. So much life was lived here.
There were tears, yelling, and bitter struggles. There was laughter, understanding, and so much love. Some of my most cherished memories happened right here within these walls. This is where our youngest came home, took his first steps and said his first words. This is where our oldest's bright personality exploded and he made his first real friends. This is where I wrote my first books. This is where all of Ben's plans and ideas finally turned into something real.
It's so hard to say goodbye. But in the end, it's just a house. It's just a tiny dot on a huge map, and all the things that really matter are coming with us wherever we go.
Now it's time to move on to new exciting adventures and live more of life's big moments."
We rented a cute little office space in a building that was built in the 1800's. We ordered Ben a "World's Best Boss" mug from our favorite TV show. And then Ben put his head down and went to work creating our vision.
The true beginning of our entrepreneurship adventure was so bitter-sweet. It was rush of adrenaline, excitement, sadness, and fear all rolled together. We couldn't wait to break free from the mold and build a product that would make people smile.
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